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Rutherford, Mark, 1831-1913

"Pages from a Journal with Other Papers"

I resolved at last that there was to be no
change in my life, that I would resign myself to my lot, expect no
affection, and do the duty blindly which had been imposed upon me. But
a miracle has been wrought, and I have a perfectly clear direction:
with you for the first time in my life I am SURE. You have known what
it is to be in a fog, unable to tell which way to turn, and all at once
the cold, wet mist was lifted, the sun came out, the fields were lighted
up, the sea revealed itself to the horizon, and your road lay straight
before you stretching over the hill. I will not shame myself by
apologies that I am no longer young. My love has remained with me. It
is a passion for you, and it is a reverence for a mind to which it will
be a perpetual joy to submit."
"God pardon me," she said after a moment's pause, "for having drawn you
to this! I did not mean it. If you knew all you would forgive me. It
cannot, cannot be! Leave me." He hesitated. "Leave me, leave me at
once!" she cried.
He rose, she took his right hand in both of hers: there was one look
straight into his eyes from her own which were filling with tears, a
half sob, her hands after one more grasp fell, and he found that he had
left the house.


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