I often feel
that I would sooner be a Levitical priest, supposing I believed in my
office, than be familiar with all these great men whose works are
stacked around me.
October 22nd.--Sometimes, especially at night, the thought not only that
I personally have lost Tom and Sophy, but that the exquisite fabric of
these relationships, so intricate, so delicate, so highly organised,
could be cast aside, to all appearance so wastefully, is almost
unendurable. . . . I went up to the moor on the top of the hill this
morning, where I could see, far away, the river broaden and lose itself
in the Atlantic. I lay on the heather looking through it and listening
to it.
October 23rd.--The 131st Psalm came into my mind when I was on the moor
again. "Neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too
high for me. Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that
is weaned of its mother: my soul is even as a weaned child."
October 28th--Tom once said to me that reasoning is often a bad guide
for us, and that loyalty to the silent Leader is true wisdom.
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