He had suggested this before, when my
husband died. How can I leave the home to which I was brought as a
bride? how can I endure the thought that strangers are in our room, or
in that other room where Sophy lay? Mr. Maxwell would think it
sacrilege to turn his church into an inn, and it is a worse sacrilege to
me to permit the profanation of the sanctuary which has been consecrated
by Love and Death. I do not know what might happen to me if I were to
leave. I have been what I am through shadowy nothings which other
people despise. To me they are realities and a law. I shall stay where
I am. "A villa," forsooth, on the outskirts of the town! My existence
would be fractured: it will at least preserve its continuity here.
Across the square I can see the house in which I was born, and I can
watch the shadow of the church in the afternoon slowly crossing the
churchyard. The townsfolk stand in the street and go up and down it
just as they did forty years ago--not the same persons, but in a sense
the same people. My brother will call me extravagant if I remain here.
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