To lessen disapprobation of
a person, and so precious to me in the opinion of another, so
respectable both in rank and virtue, was to me a most soothing task,
&c."
This is precisely what many will take the liberty to doubt; or why
did she shrink from it, or why did she not afford to others the
explanations which proved so successful with the Queen?
The day following (Jan. 10th), her feelings were so worked upon by
the harsh aspersions on her friend, that she was forced, she tells
us, abruptly to quit the room; leaving not her own (like Sir Peter
Teazle) but her friend's character behind her:
"I returned when I could, and the subject was over. When all were
gone, Mrs. Schwellenberg said, 'I have told it Mr. Fisher, that he
drove you out from the room, and he says he won't do it no more.'
"She told me next, that in the second volume I also, was mentioned.
Where she may have heard this I cannot gather, but it has given me a
sickness at heart, inexpressible. It is not that I expect severity;
for at the time of that correspondence, at all times indeed previous
to the marriage with Piozzi, if Mrs. Thrale loved not F. B., where
shall we find faith in words, or give credit to actions. But her
present resentment, however unjustly incurred, of my constant
disapprobation of her conduct, may prompt some note, or other mark,
to point out her change of sentiment. But let me try to avoid such
painful expectations; at least not to dwell upon them. O, little does
she know how tenderly at this moment I could run into her arms, so
often opened to receive me with a cordiality I believed inalienable.
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