Had I set my heart upon a scoundrel, I
might have done virtuously to break it and get loose; but the man I
love, I love for his honesty, for his tenderness of heart, his
dignity of mind, his piety to God, his duty to his mother, and his
delicacy to me. In being united to this man only can I be happy in
this world, and short will be my stay in it, if it is not passed with
him."
"_Brighthelmstone, 16th November 1782_.--For him I have been
contented to reverse the laws of nature, and request of my child that
concurrence which, at my age and a widow, I am not required either by
divine or human institutions to ask even of a parent. The life I gave
her she may now more than repay, only by agreeing to what she will
with difficulty prevent; and which, if she does prevent, will give
her lasting remorse; for those who stab _me_ shall hear me groan:
whereas if she will--but how can she?--gracefully or even
compassionately consent; if she will go abroad with me upon the
chance of his death or mine preventing our union, and live with me
till she is of age-- ... perhaps there is no heart so callous by
avarice, no soul so poisoned by prejudice, no head so feather'd by
foppery, that will forbear to excuse her when she returns to the rich
and the gay--for having saved the life of a mother thro' compliance,
extorted by anguish, contrary to the received opinions of the world."
"_Brighthelmstone, 19th November, 1782_.--What is above written,
though intended only to unload my heart by writing it, I shewed in a
transport of passion to Queeney and to Burney.
Pages:
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196