I confessed
my attachment to him and her together with many tears and agonies one
day at Streatham; told them both that I wished I had two hearts for
their sakes, but having only one I would break it between them, and
give them each _ciascheduno la meta!_ After that conversation she
consented to go abroad with me, and even appointed the place (Lyons),
to which Piozzi meant to follow us. He and she talked long together
on the subject; yet her never mentioning it again made me fear she
was not fully apprized of my intent, and though her concurrence might
have been more easily obtained when left only to my influence in a
distant country, where she would have had no friend to support her
different opinion--yet I scorned to take such mean advantage, and
told her my story _now_, with the winter before her in which to take
her measures--her guardians at hand--all displeased at the journey:
and to console her private distress I called into the room to her my
own bosom friend, my beloved Fanny Burney, whose interest as well as
judgment goes all against my marriage; whose skill in life and
manners is superior to that of any man or woman in this age or
nation; whose knowledge of the world, ingenuity of expedient,
delicacy of conduct, and zeal in the cause, will make her a
counsellor invaluable, and leave me destitute of every comfort, of
every hope, of every expectation.
"Such are the hands to which I have cruelly committed thy cause--my
honourable, ardent, artless Piozzi!! Yet I should not deserve the
union I desire with the most disinterested of all human hearts, had I
behaved with less generosity, or endeavoured to gain by cunning what
is withheld by prejudice.
Pages:
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195