Thrale, every one was officious to comfort and to soothe me; but
which of my children or quondam friends would look with kindness upon
Piozzi's widow? If I bring children by him, must they not be
Catholics, and must not I live among people the _ritual_ part of
whose religion I disapprove?
"These are _my_ objections, these _my_ fears: not those of being
censured by the world, as it is called, a composition of vice and
folly, though 'tis surely no good joke to be talked of
"'By each affected she that tells my story,
And blesses her good stars that _she_ was prudent.'
"These objections would increase in strength, too, if my present
state was a happy one, but it really is not. I live a quiet life, but
not a pleasant one. My children govern without loving me; my servants
devour and despise me; my friends caress and censure me; my money
wastes in expences I do not enjoy, and my time in trifles I do not
approve. Every one is made insolent, and no one comfortable; my
reputation unprotected, my heart unsatisfied, my health unsettled. I
will, however, resolve on nothing. I will take a voyage to the
Continent in spring, enlarge my knowledge and repose my purse. Change
of place may turn the course of these ideas, and external objects
supply the room of internal felicity. If he follow me, I may reject
or receive at pleasure the addresses of a man who follows on _no
explicit promise_, nor much probability of success, for I would
really wish to marry no more without the consent of my children (such
I mean as are qualified to give their opinions); and how should _Miss
Thrales_ approve of my marrying _Mr.
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