'
But if he is ever so worthy, ever so lovely, he is _below me_
forsooth! In what is he below me? In virtue? I would I were above
him. In understanding? I would mine were from this instant under the
guardianship of his. In birth? To be sure he is below me in birth,
and so is almost every man I know or have a chance to know. But he is
below me in fortune: is mine sufficient for us both?--more than amply
so. Does he deserve it by his conduct, in which he has always united
warm notions of honour with cool attention to oeconomy, the spirit of
a gentleman with the talents of a professor? How shall any man
deserve fortune, if he does not? But I am the guardian of five
daughters by Mr. Thrale, and must not disgrace _their_ name and
family. Was then the man my mother chose for me of higher extraction
than him I have chosen for myself? No,--but his fortune was
higher.... I wanted fortune then, perhaps: do I want it now?--Not at
all; but I am not to think about myself; I married the first time to
please my mother, I must marry the second time to please my daughter.
I have always sacrificed my own choice to that of others, so I must
sacrifice it again: but why? Oh, because I am a woman of superior
understanding, and must not for the world degrade myself from my
situation in life. But if I _have_ superior understanding, let me at
least make use of it for once, and rise to the rank of a human being
conscious of its own power to discern good from ill. The person who
has uniformly acted by the will of others has hardly that dignity to
boast.
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