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Harris, Joel Chandler, 1848-1908

"Uncle Remus, his songs and his sayings"

"
"How did he happen to get you down and maul you in this
startling manner?" asked the commencement orator, with a tone
of exaggerated sympathy in his voice.
"Maul who?" exclaimed Uncle Remus, indignantly. "Maul who? Boss,
de nigger dat mauled me ain't bo'nded yit, an' dey er got ter
have anudder war 'fo one is bo'nded."
"Well, what was the trouble?"
"Hit wuz sorter dis way, boss. I wuz stannin' down dere by Mars
John Jeems's bank, chattin' wid Sis Tempy, w'ich I ain't seed 'er
befo' now gwine on seven year, an' watchin' de folks trompin' by,
w'en one er deze yer slick-lookin' niggers, wid a bee-gum hat an'
a brass watch ez big ez de head uv a beerbar'l, come long an'
bresh up agin me--so. Dere wuz two un um, an' dey went long
gigglin' an' laffin' like a nes'ful er yaller-hammers. Bimeby dey
come long agin an' de smart Ellick brush up by me once mo'. Den I
say to myse'f, 'I lay I fetch you ef you gimme anudder invite.'
An', sho' 'nuff, yer he come agin, an' dis time he rub a piece er
watermillion rime under my lef' year."
"What did you do?"
"Me? I'm a mighty long-sufferin' nigger, but he hadn't no mo'n
totch me 'fo' I flung dese yer bones in his face." Here Uncle
Remus held up his damaged hand triumphantly.


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