"I have always been so--sometimes more,
sometimes less. My youth, the fire of passion, the longing for glory,
and, to tell you the whole truth, curiosity, and finally, a secret
instinct, have forced me out of the sweet peace which I enjoyed, and
the wish to see my name in the gazettes and in history has led me into
new paths. Come here to me. Philosophy will maintain her rights, and I
assure you that if I had not this cursed love of fame, I should think
only of peaceful comfort."
When the faithful Jordan actually came to him and the King saw the man
of peaceful enjoyment timid and uncomfortable in the field, he
suddenly realized that he himself had become another and a stronger
man. The guest who had been honored by him so long as the more
scholarly, and who had corrected his verses, criticized his letters,
and been far ahead of him in the knowledge of Greek philosophy, now,
in spite of all his philosophical training, gave the King the
impression of a man without courage. With bitter derision Frederick
attacked him in one of his best improvisations, contrasting the
warrior in himself with the weak philosopher. In however bad taste the
ridiculing verses were with which he overwhelmed Jordan again and
again, the return of the old cordial feeling was just as quick; but it
was the first gentle hint of fate for the King himself. The same thing
was to befall him often. He was to lose valuable men, loyal friends,
one after another; not only by death, but still more by the coldness
and estrangement which arose between his nature and theirs.
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