We die so often
before we finally die. Now I am the oldest of my family and I have the
right to follow him." From such a father the son inherited what was
fundamental to his character--truthfulness, a sturdy will,
straightforward common sense, and tact in dealing with men and
affairs. His childhood was full of rigor. He had many a bitter
experience in the Latin school and as a choir boy, though tempered by
kindness and love, and he kept through it all--what is more easily
kept in the lowlier circles of life--a heart full of faith in the
goodness of human nature and reverence for everything great in the
world. When he was at the University of Erfurt, his father was already
in a position to supply his needs more abundantly. He felt the vigor
of youth, and was a merry companion with song and lute. Of his
spiritual life at that time little is known except that death came
near him, and that in a thunder storm he was "called upon by a
terrible apparition from heaven." In terror he took a vow to go into a
monastery, and quickly and secretly carried out his resolve.
From that time date our reports about the troubles of his soul. At
odds with his father, full of awe at the thought of an incomprehensible
eternity, cowed by the wrath of God, he began with supernatural
exertions a life of renunciation, devotion, and penance. He found no
peace. All the highest questions of life rushed with fearful force
upon his defenseless, wandering soul. Remarkably strong and passionate
with him was the necessity of feeling himself in harmony with God and
the universe.
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