The encouragement must be very strong but very
delicate. To let him know that you would marry him is to appeal to his
vanity, and this appeal never fails; but to let him know that you have
given him the information is to appeal to his pity, and this appeal
never succeeds. Besides, you awake his disgust. Half the art of the
woman of the world consists in doing disgusting things delicately. Be
delicate, be indirect, avoid simplicity, and there is hardly any limit
to your choice of a husband.
I need say nothing about detrimental people. The conflict between a
daughter and her parents on this point--so popular in fiction--very
rarely takes place. It is well understood. You may fall in love with
the detrimental person, and you may let him fall in love with you. But
at present we are talking about marriage. Never marry a man with the
artistic temperament. By the artistic temperament one means morbid
tastes, uncertain temper and excessive vanity. It may be witty at
dinner; it _must_ be snappish at breakfast. It never has any money.
In its dress it is dirty and picturesque, unless under the pressure of
an occasion.
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