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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"The Story of the Gadsbys"

(Aloud.) Not
more mad than men who go to the other extreme. Be reasonable,
Gaddy. Your roof-beams are sound enough.
CAPT. G. That was only a way of speaking. I've been uneasy and
worried about the Wife ever since that awful business three years
ago-when-I nearly lost her. Can you wonder?
CAPT. M. Oh, a shell never falls twice in the same place. You've
paid your toll to misfortune-why should your Wife be picked out
more than anybody else's?
CAPT. G. I can talk just as reasonably as you can, but you don't
understand-you don't understand. And then there's The Butcha.
Deuce knows where the Ayah takes him to sit in the evening! He
has a bit of a cough. Haven't you noticed it?
CAPT. M. Bosh! The Brigadier's jumping out of his skin with
pure condition. He's got a muzzle like a rose-leaf and the chest of a
two-year-old. What's demoralized you?
CAPT. G. Funk. That's the long and the short of it. Funk!
CAPT. M. But what is there to funk?
CAPT. G. Everything. It's ghastly.
CAPT. M. Ah! I see.
You don't want to fight, And by Jingo when we do, You've got the
kid, you've got the Wife, You've got the money, too.
That's about the case, eh?
CAPT. G.


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