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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"The Story of the Gadsbys"

G. Pin, you're making me sick! You're a horrid, disgusting
schoolboy.
CAPT. G. (On his knees among the bridles.) You asked to be
told. It's not my fault if you worry me into talking about horrors.
Mas. G. Why didn't you say-No?
CAPT. G. Good Heavens, child! Have you come in here simply to
bully me?
Mas. G. I bully you? How could I! You're so strong. (Hysterically.)
Strong enough to pick me up and put me outside the door and
leave me there to cry. Aren't you?
CAPT. G. It seems to me that you're an irrational little baby. Are
you quite well?
MRS. G. Do I look ill? (Returning to table). Who is your lady
friend with the big grey envelope and the fat monogram outside?
CAPT. G. (Aside.) Then it wasn't locked up, confound it.
(Aloud.) "God made her, therefore let her pass for a woman." You
remember what farcybuds are like?
Mas. G. (Showing envelope.) This has nothing to do with them.
I'm going to open it. May I?
CAPT. G. Certainly, if you want to. I'd sooner you didn't though. I
don't ask to look at your letters to the Deer-court girl.
Mas. G. You'd better not, Sir! (Takes letter from envelope.) Now,
may I look? If you say no, I shall cry.


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