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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"The Story of the Gadsbys"

G. Here! Because we care for each other. So it's all right.
Mrs. G. (As a troop of langurs crash through the branches.) So it's
all right. But Darwin says that we came from those!
CAPT. G. (Placidly.) Ah! Darwin was never in love with an angel.
That settles it. Sstt, you brutes! Monkeys, indeed! You shouldn't
read those books.
MRS. G. (Folding her hands.) If it pleases my Lord the King to
issue proclamation.
CAPT. G. Don't, dear one. There are no orders between us. Only
I'd rather you didn't. They lead to nothing, and bother people's
heads.
MRS. G. Like your first engagement.
CAPT. G. (With an immense calm.) That was a necessary evil and
led to you. Are you nothing?
MRS. G. Not so very much, am I?
CAPT. G. All this world and the next to me.
MRS. G. (Very softly.) My boy of boys! Shall I tell you
something?
CAPT. G. Yes, if it's not dreadful-about other men.
MRS. G. It's about my own bad little self.
CAPT. G. Then it must be good. Go on, dear.
MRS. G. (Slowly.) I don't know why I'm telling you, Pip; but if
ever you marry again-(Interlude.) Take your hand from my mouth
or I'll bite! In the future, then remember-I don't know quite how to
put it!
CAPT.


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