She liked the reading for the
reading's sake, and she liked to know that what I thought was
communicated to her; that she was not excluded from the sphere in
which I lived. Of the office she never heard a word, and I never
would tell her anything about it; but there was scarcely a single
book in my possession which could be read aloud, that we did not go
through together in this way. I don't prescribe this kind of life to
everybody. Some of my best friends, I know, would find it
intolerable, but it suited us. Philosophy and religion I did not
touch. It was necessary to choose themes with varying human
interest, such as the best works of fiction, a play, or a poem; and
these perhaps, on the whole, did me more good at that time than
speculation. Oh, how many times have I left my office humiliated by
some silently endured outbreak on the part of my master, more galling
because I could not put it aside as altogether gratuitous; and in
less than an hour it was two miles away, and I was myself again. If
a man wants to know what the potency of love is, he must be a menial;
he must be despised. Those who are prosperous and courted cannot
understand its power. Let him come home after he has suffered what
is far worse than hatred--the contempt of a superior, who knows that
he can afford to be contemptuous, seeing that he can replace his
slave at a moment's notice.
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