Consumed by a longing for
continuous intercourse with the best, I had no ability whatever to
maintain it, and I had accepted as a fact, however mysterious it
might be, that the human mind is created with the impulses of a
seraph and the strength of a man. Furthermore, what was I that I
should demand exceptional treatment? Thousands of men and women
superior to myself, are condemned, if that is the proper word to use,
to almost total absence from themselves. The roar of the world for
them is never lulled to rest, nor can silence ever be secured in
which the voice of the Divine can be heard.
My letters were written twice a week, and as each contained a column
and a half, I had six columns weekly to manufacture. These I was in
the habit of writing in the morning, my evenings being spent at the
House. At first I was rather interested, but after a while the
occupation became tedious beyond measure, and for this reason. In a
discussion of any importance about fifty members perhaps would take
part, and had made up their minds beforehand to speak. There could
not possibly be more than three or four reasons for or against the
motion, and as the knowledge that what the intending orator had to
urge had been urged a dozen times before on that very night never
deterred him from urging it again, the same arguments, diluted,
muddled, and mispresented, recurred with the most wearisome
iteration.
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