But the trick is, Uncle Peter, to know what to say and when to say
it.
Look at my case and then tell me if it wasn't up to me to emit a
rave.
There I was, just about to leave my native land to go to Oxford and
become the squeegee professor in the Knowledge Factory and be all
swallowed up in the London fog, but nobody seemed to miss me before
I went away.
I began to feel lost, lonely and forgotten like a vice-president of
the United States.
Then came the banquet, Uncle Peter, and like a flash the inspiration
came to me and I arose in my seat and said, "Ladies and gentlemen,
after a man reaches the age of 40 he is a seldom-happener, and after
he gets to the age of 60 he is a dead rabbit and it's the woods for
his."
What was the result, Uncle Peter?
Every man in the world felt that I was his personal insult.
Every man _over_ 40 listened to what I said and began to yell for
the police; and every man _under_ 40 realized that he would be
_over_ 40 some day, so he began to look for a rock to throw at me.
I had them, going and coming.
Then the newspapers heard about it and where formerly in their
columns was nothing but dull and harmless war news my picture
began, to blossom forth like the flowers that bloom in the spring,
tra la!
Pretty soon, Uncle Peter, every man, woman and child in the world
began to know me and I couldn't walk out in the public streets
without being snap-shotted or bowed to, or barked at, according to
the age of those present.
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