JOHN HENRY ON THE GRIP
Say, did you ever spar a few hot rounds with a real attack of grip?
When it comes right down to a case of being a Bad Boy the grip has
every other disease slapped to a sit-down.
I had the grip some weeks ago and ever since my system has felt
like eight cents worth of cheese.
The medicine sharps tell us that the grip is caused by a little
germ which emigrated to this country originally from Russia.
If that's the case I'm glad the Japs put the boots to the Czar. I
wish they would go after him again and kick his crown off.
I'll bet even money that the father of the first grip germ must
have been a bombshell and his mother was some relation to one of
Kuropatkin's retreats.
It's dollars to pretzels that the grip germ is the busiest idea
that was ever chased by a doctor.
Nobody knows just how or when the grip germs break into the system,
but once they get a foothold in the epiglottis nothing can remove
them except inward applications of dynamite.
The grip germ hates the idea of race suicide.
From one small germ there will arise and go forth a family the size
of which was never dreamed of in the philosophy of our wise and
busy President.
I don't know just exactly how they happened to warm wise to me, but
a newly married couple of grip germs took a notion to build a nest
somewhere on the outskirts of my solar plexus, and two hours later
they had about 233 children attending the public school in my
medusa oblongata; and every time school would let out for recess I
would go up in the air and hit the ceiling with my top-knot.
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