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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green"

If fashion decreed that
you should play cricket in a pair of top-boots and a diver's
helmet, you would play cricket in a pair of top-boots and a diver's
helmet, and dub every sensible fellow who didn't a cad. It's worse
in you than in us; men are supposed to think for themselves, and to
be capable of it, the womanly woman isn't."
"Big women and little men look well in nothing," said the Woman of
the World. "Poor Emily was five foot ten and a half, and never
looked an inch under seven foot, whatever she wore. Empires came
into fashion, and the poor child looked like the giant's baby in a
pantomime. We thought the Greek might help her, but it only
suggested a Crystal Palace statue tied up in a sheet, and tied up
badly; and when puff-sleeves and shoulder-capes were in and Teddy
stood up behind her at a water-party and sang 'Under the spreading
chestnut-tree,' she took it as a personal insult and boxed his
ears. Few men liked to be seen with her, and I'm sure George
proposed to her partly with the idea of saving himself the expense
of a step-ladder, she reaches down his boots for him from the top
shelf."
"I," said the Minor Poet, "take up the position of not wanting to
waste my brain upon the subject.


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