I was arguing with him
when the first fool came up breathless. They told me I had better
explain the matter to the Inspector, and I thought so too.
"The Inspector asked me why I had run away when the other constable
wanted to take me in charge. I replied that it was because I did
not desire to spend my Christmas holidays in the lock-up, which he
evidently regarded as a singularly weak argument. He asked me what
I had thrown into the canal. I told him a goose. He asked me why
I had thrown a goose into the canal. I told him because I was sick
and tired of the animal.
"At this stage a sergeant came in to say that they had succeeded in
recovering the parcel. They opened it on the Inspector's table.
It contained a dead baby.
"I pointed out to them that it wasn't my parcel, and that it wasn't
my baby, but they hardly took the trouble to disguise the fact that
they did not believe me.
"The Inspector said it was too grave a case for bail, which, seeing
that I did not know a soul in London, was somewhat immaterial. I
got them to send a telegram to my young lady to say that I was
unavoidably detained in town, and passed as quiet and uneventful a
Christmas Day and Boxing Day as I ever wish to spend.
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