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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green"

"
"Was this the canary young lady?" I interrupted.
"No," he replied. "This was before that one. It was this goose
I'm telling you of that upset this one. Well, her folks were big
farmers; it would have been absurd taking a goose down to them, and
I knew no one in London to give it to, so when the landlord came
round again I asked him if he would care to buy it. I told him he
could have it cheap,
"'I don't want it myself,' he answered. 'I've got three in the
house already. Perhaps one of these gentlemen would like to make
an offer.'
"He turned to a couple of chaps who were sitting drinking gin.
They didn't look to me worth the price of a chicken between them.
The seediest said he'd like to look at it, however, and I undid the
parcel. He mauled the thing pretty considerably, and cross-
examined me as to how I come by it, ending by upsetting half a
tumbler of gin and water over it. Then he offered me half a crown
for it. It made me so angry that I took the brown paper and the
string in one hand and the goose in the other, and walked straight
out without saying a word.
"I carried it in this way for some distance, because I was excited
and didn't care how I carried it; but as I cooled, I began to
reflect how ridiculous I must look.


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