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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green"

"
Whibley admitted the play had been suggested to him. The Major
rose from the table.
"Then, sir," said he, with concentrated indignation, "I decline to
continue this game. A human fool I can tolerate for a partner, but
if I am to be hampered by a damned spirit--"
"You've no right to say that," cried Whibley hotly.
"I apologise," returned the Major coldly; "we will say a blessed
spirit. I decline to play whist with spirits of any kind; and I
advise you, sir, if you intend giving many exhibitions with the
lady, first to teach her the rudiments of the game."
Saying which the Major put on his hat and left the club, and I made
Whibley drink a stiff glass of brandy and water, and sent him and
"Maria" home in a cab.
Whibley got rid of "Maria" at last. It cost him in round figures
about eight thousand pounds, but his family said it was worth it.
A Spanish Count hired a furnished house a few doors from Whibley's,
and one evening he was introduced to Whibley, and came home and had
a chat with him. Whibley told him about "Maria," and the Count
quite fell in love with her. He said that if only he had had such
a spirit to help and advise him, it might have altered his whole
life.


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