I was very thankful to-
-I was very thankful, that I saw my duty this morning, with the
poor man standing by me; but its rather a strain upon me to keep
thinking and thinking what I should do if such and such a thing
happened; and, I believe, I had rather wait and see what really
does come; and I don't doubt I shall be helped then if I don't
fidget myself, and get too anxious beforehand. You know, love, I'm
not like Deborah. If Deborah had lived, I've no doubt she would
have seen after them, before they had got themselves into this
state."
We had neither of us much appetite for dinner, though we tried to
talk cheerfully about indifferent things. When we returned into
the drawing-room, Miss Matty unlocked her desk and began to look
over her account-books. I was so penitent for what I had said in
the morning, that I did not choose to take upon myself the
presumption to suppose that I could assist her; I rather left her
alone, as, with puzzled brow, her eye followed her pen up and down
the ruled page. By-and-by she shut the book, locked the desk, and
came and drew a chair to mine, where I sat in moody sorrow over the
fire. I stole my hand into hers; she clasped it, but did not speak
a word. At last she said, with forced composure in her voice, "If
that bank goes wrong, I shall lose one hundred and forty-nine
pounds thirteen shillings and fourpence a year; I shall only have
thirteen pounds a year left.
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