"Not to any particular person, my dear," said she, hastily checking
herself up, as if she were afraid of having admitted too much;
"only the old story, you know, of ladies always saying, 'WHEN I
marry,' and gentlemen, 'IF I marry.'" It was a joke spoken in
rather a sad tone, and I doubt if either of us smiled; but I could
not see Miss Matty's face by the flickering fire-light. In a
little while she continued -
"But, after all, I have not told you the truth. It is so long ago,
and no one ever knew how much I thought of it at the time, unless,
indeed, my dear mother guessed; but I may say that there was a time
when I did not think I should have been only Miss Matty Jenkyns all
my life; for even if I did meet with any one who wished to marry me
now (and, as Miss Pole says, one is never too safe), I could not
take him--I hope he would not take it too much to heart, but I
could NOT take him--or any one but the person I once thought I
should be married to; and he is dead and gone, and he never knew
how it all came about that I said 'No,' when I had thought many and
many a time--Well, it's no matter what I thought. God ordains it
all, and I am very happy, my dear. No one has such kind friends as
I," continued she, taking my hand and holding it in hers.
If I had never known of Mr Holbrook, I could have said something in
this pause, but as I had, I could not think of anything that would
come in naturally, and so we both kept silence for a little time.
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