_ "CONFOUND IT! WHAT _IS_ THAT INFERNAL OIL-ENGINE OR
SOMETHING THAT BEGINS THUMPING WHENEVER I AM PUTTING?"
_Caddie._ "I THINK IT MUST BE T'OTHER GENTLEMAN'S 'EART, SIR."]
* * * * *
"NEW MOTOR-BUS SERVICES.
Residents in the area between the county town and ---- are now able to
do their shopping at either place with the maximum of inconvenience so
far as travel is concerned."--_Provincial Paper._
Just as in London.
* * * * *
GISH-JINGLE.
[_The Times_ in a recent article on events in the Film world announces
the impending arrival in Europe of Miss DOROTHY GISH, adding, however,
that the visit is mainly undertaken for recreation.]
Let others discourse and descant
Upon MANNIX the martyr archbish,
Me rather it pleases to chant
The arrival of DOROTHY GISH.
Among the _elite_ of the Screen
She holds an exalted posit.;
But in Europe she never has been
Hitherto, hasn't DOROTHY GISH.
And it's well to consider aright
That she harbours the laudable wish
For a holiday, not for the light
Of the lime, does Miss DOROTHY GISH.
None the less with the wildest surmise
Do I muse on the bountiful dish
Of sensation purveyed for the wise
And the foolish by DOROTHY GISH.
* * * * *
Will you strengthen the hands of LLOYD GEORGE
Or frown on the poor Coalit.?
Will you force profiteers to disgorge,
Beneficent DOROTHY GISH?
Do you hold by self-governing schools?
Do you think that headmasters should swish
Or adopt Montessorian rules,
Benevolent DOROTHY GISH?
Will they give you an Oxford degree?
Will you learn to call marmalade "squish"?
Will KENWORTHY ask you to tea
On the Terrace, great DOROTHY GISH?
Do you favour the Russ or the Pole?
Will you visit the Servians at Nish?
Are you sound on the subject of coal?
Are you Pussyfoot, DOROTHY GISH?
Are you going to be terribly mobbed
When attending the concerts of KRISH?
Are your tresses luxuriant or "bobbed"?
Do tell us, kind DOROTHY GISH!
Meanwhile we are moody and mad,
Like SAUL the descendant of KISH,
Oh, arrive and make everyone glad,
Delectable DOROTHY GISH!
* * * * *
"Wanted, Lady Clerk; one accustomed to milk ledgers preferred.
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