A little time and
reflection effaced in my mind this temporary dissatisfaction with
Mr. Adams, and restored me to that just estimate of his virtues and
passions, which a long acquaintance had enabled me to fix. And my first
wish became that of making his retirement easy by any means in my power;
for it was understood he was not rich. I suggested to some republican
members of the delegation from his State, the giving him, either
directly or indirectly, an office, the most lucrative in that State,
and then offered to be resigned, if they thought he would not deem it
affrontive. They were of opinion he would take great offence at the
offer; and, moreover, that the body of republicans would consider such
a step in the outset, as auguring very ill of the course I meant to
pursue. I dropped the idea, therefore, but did not cease to wish for
some opportunity of renewing our friendly understanding.
Two or three years after, having had the misfortune to lose a daughter,
between whom and Mrs. Adams there had been a considerable attachment,
she made it the occasion of writing me a letter, in which, with the
tenderest expressions of concern at this event, she carefully avoided a
single one of friendship towards myself, and even concluded it with
the wishes 'of her who once took pleasure in subscribing herself your
friend, Abigail Adams.' Unpromising as was the complexion of this
letter, I determined to make an effort towards removing the clouds from
between us.
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