I have
been thinking how I had been cursed in childhood by one who surely loved
me beyond all other things besides. I can remember how sedulously she
encouraged and prompted my infant passions, uncontrolled by her
authority and reason, and since utterly unrestrainable by my own. How
she stimulated me to artifices, and set me the example herself, by
frequently deceiving my father, and teaching me to disobey and deceive
him! She told me not to lie; and she lied all day to him, on my account,
and to screen me from his anger. She taught me the catechism, to say on
Sunday, while during the week she schooled me in almost every possible
form of ingenuity to violate all its precepts. She bribed me to do my
duty, and hence my duty could only be done under the stimulating promise
of a reward; and, without the reward, I went counter to the duty. She
taught me that God was superior to all, and that he required obedience
to certain laws; yet, as she hourly violated those laws herself in my
behalf, I was taught to regard myself as far superior to him! Had she
not done all this, I had not been here and thus: I had been what now I
dare not think on.
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