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Taylor, Tom, 1817-1880

"Our American Cousin"

I want to ask you a whime.
Flo A whime, what's that?
Dun A whime is a widdle, you know.
Flo A widdle!
Dun Yeth; one of those things, like--why is so and so or somebody
like somebody else.
Flo Oh, I see, you mean a conundrum.
Dun Yeth, a drum, that's the idea. What is it gives a cold in the head,
cures a cold, pays the doctor's bill and makes the home-guard look for
substitutes? [Florence repeats it.] Yeth, do you give it up?
Flo Yes.
Dun Well, I'll tell you--a draught. Now I've got a better one that that:
When is a dog's tail not a dog's tail? [Florence repeats.
During this Florence, Mrs. M. and Dundreary are down stage.]
Flo Yes, and willingly.
Dun When it's a cart. [They look at him enquiringly.]
Flo Why, what in earth has a dog's tail to do with a cart?
Dun When it moves about, you know. A horse makes a cart move,
so does a dog make his tail move.
Flo Oh, I see what you mean--when it's a wagon. [Wags the letter
in her hand.]
Dun Well, a wagon and a cart are the same thing, ain't they!
That's the idea--it's the same thing.
Flo They are not the same.


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