"Not many days more. I guessed, I hoped, long ago that Raoul cared, but
he wouldn't have told me, even the day he did tell, if he hadn't lost
his head a little. He hadn't meant to speak, it seems, for he's poor,
and he thought he had no right. But what's a man worth who doesn't lose
his head when he loves a woman? I adored him for it. We decided not to
let anyone know until a few weeks before we could marry, as I didn't
care to have my engagement gossipped about, for months on end. There
were reasons why--more than one: but the man of all others whom I didn't
want to know the truth found out, or, rather, suspected what had
happened, the very day when Raoul and I came to an understanding--Count
Godensky of the Russian Embassy. He called, and was let in by mistake
while Raoul was with me, and, just as he must have seen by our faces
that there was something to suspect, so I saw by his that he did
suspect. Oh, a hateful person! I've refused him three times. There are
some men so vain that they can never believe a woman really means to say
'no' to them. Count Godensky is one of those, and he's dangerous, too.
I'm afraid of him, since I've cared for Raoul, though I used to be
afraid of no one, when I'd only myself to think of.
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